Dear God

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Dear God

I sat and thought of you tonight as I struggled with my addiction pain
It seems that wherever I go I end up back here all over again
I tried to have some self restraint, tried to focus on your face
I wish that I had seen it clearer, that I did't feel such a disgrace

I tell the world I love you, I agree with who you are
Why then does my faith and hope seem so distant and so far
Why can't I control myself, why can't I be free
Why do I continue to live a life that scares the soul out of me

I used to turn to the words you've said and find some strength to fight
But now I turn away from hope, from you, from love, from light
The darkness covers my every thought, it threatens to turn me away
So here I am praying Lord, for your help with me today

I know I am not worthy, I know I have failed to cope
I know that rather than helping, I've suffocated hope
I know I am still living in the land of abuse and fear
But even in this hole of pain, I still trust that you are near

I still believe in the promise you made to save me from the sin
I still believe you love me even in the mess you know I'm in
I still find time to think of you even though I don't always say
I still want you to guide me through every waking day

I love you Lord and I still believe
Its the world not you that continues to deceive
I've fallen off track but I want to be healed
I believe in the destiny you have for me, the future you've sealed

I'll cry no more for the worthlessness I feel, I'll turn to you instead of pain
If I can do this one pledge, will I see happiness again
Please let your will be done my Lord, let me follow your lead
Above all else that's in this life, its you, your love I need.

Love Always.x