To My Lord

"Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain." - Joseph Campbell

The pains not going, its here inside
The pain won't leave me, there's nowhere to hide
The solution of addiction provides no relief for me
What used to make me happy, no longer sets me free

I believed in the escapism that drugs promised my fear
But now all I wish for is the ability to be sober and here
I'm scared to leave the comfort that this path has provided for me
But in the depths of darkness, my souls light has made me see

You will never stop running if you keep blocking it out
Better for your spirit to let the screaming out
Better for your life to deal with the truth and reality
Better for my future to find the real me

I used to believe I could numb my thoughts and mind
Shut out the evil voices, the cruel and unkind
But now the solution offers no solace, no place to run
Its time for me to embrace the promise of Gods chosen Son

Can I let him in, can I call him near
Can I trust in my heart that he'll always be here
Can I run to him instead of substance abuse
Can I get high on him instead of my drug use

I no longer know the answers, I no longer trust my self
In most of the moments, I wish to be somebody else
I ask for help in these desperate times
In the pain that I feel, see the truth in the rhymes

See the desperation burning deep inside of me
See the prison in my head and the cries to be free
Help the heart that I broke, be put back together
Promise me life my Lord, beside you forever

I know I fail, I know I break your heart
But the spirit in me, wants to never be apart
To look upon your face each and every day
To live my life with your love, your lessons, your way

I can't promise you perfection or never losing hope
But I guarantee my faith in my ability to cope
If you hear my voice then help me please
Its only you my Lord, who can provide the keys

Love Always.x